The Challenge Of Dating In Boston

"Of the cities that I have lived and visited, some of them even bigger and bustling cities like New York and Dallas, Boston has the sole distinction of being the toughest place to get together and hook up with people," relates Tim a thirty-something investment officer who just moved from San Francisco to Boston a couple of years ago. "It's been quite a disappointment," Tim adds, "I've lived here for three years and have very little social life. I think this is a great city but people can't seem to relax, especially with 'newbies' like me."

While this may sound like a sweeping, unkind generalization, some tend to agree that Boston does seem like such an unfriendly place. Some of the best and the brightest people reside in Boston but for all its sophistication and class, meeting possible dating prospects can become quite a difficult task.

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In Boston, people say that locals tend to be "cliquish" --- if you are not part of a group of people whom you have known since middle school, you cannot possible meet anyone else outside your circle and vice versa. People in Boston, the women population specifically, tend to marry at quite a young age. In effect, it would seem that there are hardly any single people left to date. And even when there are, women seem quite reluctant to give out their phone numbers to strangers. This gives the impression that the women of Boston are snobs, distant and aloof.

"It's an unfair observation but it may also be true for some. Though I've had my share of dates and rejections here in Boston, it isn't that bad," Lisa, a 29-year old office assistant who is currently dating a Boston local, shares her story. "I think that it also has a lot to do with people's mindset and standards. If people try hard enough, they can meet someone interesting. Dating, as it is anywhere in the world, is already a challenge."

It can also be that people are looking in the wrong places.

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Kelly, 32, says, "I tried to hook up in bars but my nights out on the town seem to always end without me getting any dates. When I decided to look for dates outside the bar scene, I found my match, my husband, whom I met on the T and H commuter line on my way to work!"

Other recommendations for meeting potential dates in Boston are to visit museums, join local fundraisers, enrol in a class, or be part of a community group. The thing to remember in Boston is that socialization is not just found in bars or parties. This is a city of intellectuals and while the locals here may be a serious bunch, that doesn't mean they can't have fun.